Can we accept ourselves the way we are? Can we accept that within ourselves, live more versions of us? Accept that in us lives the sad, happy, healthy, ill, strong, weak, loved and abandoned Buddha. How much time is needed, how many lives are needed to pass for us to accept ourselves, to accept the Truth? Anyway, what even is this freedom?
I don’t have the answers to all questions. Each day I am less and less the sceptical Levin from Anna Karenina and more the Little Prince who believes and sees not only what is visible to the eye, but more what is invisible, seen with only the heart. And everyone can see this, I am not special in that sense. Every human being can do the same, everyone has a Little Prince in them. Only… The problem is not in growing up – growing up is wonderful – it is in forgetting. How much time does it take for us to remember that we are free, that we were winners from the day we were born, to remember that our whole life is one magical dance composed of our many choices. Only our choices. Not other people’s. Even when it seems to us that they are other people’s choices, they are still only ours, stained by the decision of listening to other people’s mathematics instead of our own hearts. Because we don’t believe. We don’t believe that our heart can give us the right answer. It’s too childish, we think. We stand oblivious to the fact that it is the only right answer.
There are no wrong answers, but only one is the right one. And it lies in front of our noses always. Always. And for the longest time, since the beginning of the world, we have known the answer. Why are we afraid of it? Why are we so afraid of being free? We put on numerous suits, giving them different names: good man, bad man, child, father, mother, revolutionary, teacher, pupil, poor, rich, smart, stupid, lazy or hardworking, but… But they are all correct, yet not one is the right one. Life choices? There are no wrongs. It is always right no matter what we decide, the only question is whether it leads us toward our true selves, or to a new, fun role we have chosen to play this time. Does it lead us down the path of honesty, the path that something inside us wants to go down because it recognizes, remembers, that it is the only righteous path. Essentially, the answer is so unbelievably simple and its simplicity confuses us. The more we stray from the confusing path, complicating it, the more challenges come knocking at our door, causing us to fail, rendering us ill in some way or another. The problem is not in the illness or the challenges, or the failure. Because we were created to heal, to rise again and face the challenges.
But we do not do this. Mostly we don’t. We flail about more and more, despairing and cursing. We run from the freedom to choose the right answers. Is who leads us important? Yes. Is what we have chosen important? Yes. Will we get another chance? We will. Not just one, we will get as many chances as we wish to see given to us. Every morning is a new chance. Yet we don’t realise this until illness comes knocking at our door. But before we fall ill, we get so very many cautions, so many new chances are born every morning, yet we still remain afraid to ask ourselves down which path we truly wish to go. Because of this fear to accept ourselves the way we are, perfect in our imperfections, we run. We run toward the roles that seem easy to play.
An actor lives to play various roles, some are given to him, some are chosen by him, but only one is written for him and him only. And we know very well which role that is. We know. We are capable of playing any role, absolutely any. It is our freedom to be anything we wish to. Freedom is being what you are in all its colours, and every colour is the right one, because if one is missing, what remains is a fraction of the rainbow that once was. There is no reason to worry whether all the colours within us are alright, because they are, they are all ok and each and every one of them is needed to complete the rainbow. And we are on it. Above all the roles there is the one. Somewhere above the rainbow is our role. It’s called love. Because love is the most wonderful feeling that arises within us, and it can be woken by various impulses, situations, people. It is the one thing that gives us the biggest smile while we are sliding through the rainbow, through all the roles that lie united within us.
We cannot be only black, or only white, or only blue, or only red, because then we are not complete. We must be all those colours. We have to accept them as a whole with which we can experiment and play… And how does this rainbow come to exist? It’s not about what we can see, but about what we cannot see. Emergence. Remember how a rainbow emerges. Drops of rain and the Sun come together to form a rainbow. Both the rain and the Sun. Yes. You see that you know!!! See you somewhere over the rainbow, or maybe sliding down it like a slide!