[:sr]Čemu ta potreba da sebe poredimo s drugima? Čemu ta potreba da od drugih dobijemo priznanje? Čemu ta potreba da se drugima upravo radi toga dodvoravamo?
Šta je uopšte dodvoravanje? Umeće prilagodjavanja tudjeg mišljenja sopstvenim potrebama. Kulturno dodvoravanje to bolje opisuje kao vrstu unutrašnjeg kompleksa niže vrednosti koja dovodi do toga da odbacujemo ono što jesmo smatrajući ga nižom vrednošću i lošijim u odnosu na nekog drugog. Čemu?
Ko nas je uopšte ubedio da nismo dovoljno dobri? Odakle tako duboko usadjen poriv da je tudje bolje i da to drugo ocenjuje ovo naše? Zašto sebe prepuštamo na milost i nemilost drugima? Zašto nismo svoji već tudji? I tu sreće nema.
Sreće tu nema, ne zato što smo mi drugima loši, već zato što mi drugima realno nismo važni. Tudja reakcija u odnosu na nas zapravo je samo njihov odgovor samom sebi. Ubedjivanje njih samih da su bolji od tog drugog sa kim se takodje uporedjuje. Jer, i taj kome se dodvoravaš se uporedjuje, i to se uporedjuje upravo sa tobom dok mu pričaš i tražiš odobravanje. Ne traži odgovor od drugog, nema ga. Nema ga, jer nema odgovore ni za sebe, a kamoli za tebe. Ne troši vreme da ubediš bilo koga u ono što jesi ili nisi, u ono što osećaš, jer taj drugi to ne može da oseti. I opet, ne zato što neće, već samo zato što svako već bori sopstvene bitke. Svakome je pogled već prepunjen sobom i nema prostora da vidi drugog. Da ga stvarno vidi! Svako će tvoj problem gledati kroz sopstveni spektar, sopstvenu vizuru onoga što sam oseća i neće moći da ti da TVOJ odgovor. Nema ga. Jednostavno niko drugi, do nas, nema naše odgovore. Zato je i besmisleno porediti se, zato je i besmisleno tražiti priznanje, zato je i besmisleno dodvoravati se.
Očekuješ nagradu, ako ubediš nekoga da je dobro to što jesi? Kakvu nagradu? Priznanje? Novac? Uslugu? Zar zaista veruješ da ne možeš stići tamo gde si krenuo bez tudje usluge? Bez tudje pažnje, bez tudje ljubavi? Kako da dobiješ tudju ljubav, ako samog sebe ne voliš? Kako da pokažeš ono što sijaš drugome, ako ga gušiš, ako ga kriješ, ako ga sam ne vidiš, pa ni ne znaš šta treba da pokažeš? Kako da pokažem svoju lepotu svetu, ako sama ne znam gde je i u čemu je? Moram prvo samu sebe da pronadjem i to uopšte nije lako. Previše je blokada u nama usadjeno koje treba otkloniti da bih trošila svoje vreme da ubedim drugog da ubedi mene kako je iza te blokade nešto lepo.
Nemam ti kad i zato mi nemoj ništa zameriti. Ne radi se o tebi, već o meni se radi ovde. Mučim iste muke kao i vasceli svet oko mene. I nemam nameru da drugima oduzimam njihovo dragoceno vreme, jednako kao što na prvom mestu nemam nameru da samoj sebi trošim sopstveno vreme na borbu sa vetrenjačama, sa drugima. Ali, zato imam sve vreme ovog sveta za ljubav koju umem, bez poremca, da prepoznam u tudjim očima bilo deteta, zrelog čoveka ili bića u poodmaklim godinama. Nemam ti kad za laž kada je vidim u tudjim očima, ne zato što je prezirem. Ne, ne više. Ne prezirem tudju laž i neiskrenost, jer mi je jasno kakve se bure i borbe kriju iza toga, muke sa sopstvenim demonima. Ne prezirem, već samo niti imam šta da tražim u tudjoj borbi, niti imam vremena na pretek.
Život je kratak. Videla sam to u očima ljudi u poodmaklim godinama, tu svesnost da je život samo iskra, varnica na novogodišnjoj prskalici koja se ugasi taman kada si se opustio i počeo da uživaš u njenoj igri i plesu tih iskri. Njihove oči su mi bez reči rekle koliko je život kratak, kolika je život misterija oko koje nema potrebe da trošiš toliko briga, toliko vremena na tudja odobravanja, na dodvoravanja. Dozvoli prskalici neka baca iskre oko sebe i ne boj ih se, dozvoli sebi da se opustiš u toj igri što pre, kako bi i samo uživanje i lepota potrajala bar za jedan treptaj ili dva duže. Isuviše je kratko da zveram u tudje ili odvlačim tudju pažnju sa njihove prskalice da me ubede kako moja ima divne iskre.
Nemam ti kad i zato mi nemoj što zamjerit!

[:en]Why do we have a need to compare ourselves with others? Why do we have the need to get recognition from others? Why the need to seek adulation from others for these reasons?
What even is flattery? The art of adjusting the opinions of others to our own needs. Cultural flattery better explains this as an inner inferiority complex which leads us to reject the person we are, considering ourselves of lower value compared with others. What for?
Who even convinced us we are not good enough? Where did such a strong belief that others are better and they are judging us come from? Why do we leave ourselves to the mercy and cruelty of others? Why are we not our own, but someone else’s? There is no happiness there.
There is no happiness there, not because we are not good enough for others, but because we are not important to others. Their reaction to us is really just their answer to themselves. Convincing themselves that they are better than the other person they too are comparing themselves to. Because, the same person you are seeking adulation from is comparing himself to you just as you are asking for their approval. Don’t seek answers from others, they don’t have any. They don’t have any because they don’t even have an answer for themselves, let alone you. Don’t waste time convincing anybody of who you are or aren’t, of what you feel, because they cannot feel what you feel. Once again, this isn’t because they don’t want to, but because everybody is already fighting their own battles. Everyone’s view is already flooded with images of themselves and they aren’t able to see others. To really see them! Every person will look at your problem through their own eyes, their own vision of what they are feeling; they won’t be able to give an answer for YOUR problem. They don’t have it. Simply, nobody else has our answers. This is why it is absurd to compare yourself with them, why it is absurd to seek recognition, why it is absurd to seek flattery.
Are you expecting a prize if you convince someone that who you are is good? What kind of prize? Recognition? Money? A favour? Do you really believe that you cannot achieve what you started without the favours of others? Without the attention or love of others? How are you to gain the love of others, when you do not love yourself? How are you to dazzle others, when you are suffocating and hiding yourself, not seeing or knowing what is dazzling about you? How do I show my beauty to the world, if I myself do not know where it lies? Firstly, I have to find myself and that is not easy. There are too many constraints within us which we need to release ourselves from instead of wasting our time convincing others to convince us that beauty lies behind those constraints.
I don’t have the time for it, don’t hold it against me. It’s not about you, it’s about me. I am fighting the same battles as the whole world around me. And I don’t have the intention of wasting the precious time of others equally as much as I first and foremost don’t have the intention of wasting my own time tilting at windmills. And that is why I have all the time of this world for the love I can recognize, without exception, in the eyes of any child, grown man, or elderly person. But I don’t have the time for lies when I see them in the eyes of others, not because I despise them. No, not anymore. I don’t despise lies and dishonesty, because I understand what troubles and struggles are hiding behind them – battles with inner demons. I don’t despise them, I just don’t have anything to look for in others’ battles, nor do I have time to spare.
Life is short. I have seen it in the eyes of the old, this awareness that life is just a spark on a New Year’s sparkler, which goes out right when you begin to relax and enjoy its dance. Their eyes showed me, without words, how short life is, what a mystery it is, over which there is no need to waste so much worry and so much time on the approval of others, flattery. Let the sparkler flicker and do not be afraid of the sparks, allow yourself to relax as soon as possible, so that the joy and beauty lasts for just a blink or two longer. It’s too short to stare at others, or to distract others’ attention from their own sparkler, just to convince me how beautifully my own flickers.
I don’t have the time, so don’t hold it against me!

[:]